Work Retreat at Suncadia

 

On Monday afternoon, I got on the road and drove to Suncadia for my 2 day/2 night work retreat.  Our staff of 16 (who is spread all across the state) only gets together about 4 times a year.  I really only have the opportunity to see my coworkers who are based at the HQ on a regular basis, and there are only 7 of us - of which many are often out for meetings, travel, or working from home.  It is kind of amazing what technology has allowed us to do in terms of operating a business in such a disconnected way, at least in terms of face to face time.

 

However - there are some things that really do require time together, and sometimes, it's best to do that away from the day to day distractions at home.  We also have a new employee, my boss, so it was the perfect time to get away, focus, and put together a plan for the 4th Quarter, along with our goals for 2014.

 

I had been put in charge of organizing our retreat - finding a (somewhat) central location, reserving rooms, organizing "fun" activities, and getting the food and drink squared away.

 

After several of our choices closer to the middle of the state had been booked, we decided to go after Suncadia - who just happened to have had space for us.

 

We all arrived on Monday afternoon at various times.  After checking into our (amazing) condos, a few of us grabbed a drink and took in the spectacular views.



 

Next up, I had organized a cooking demo.  Our entire team took part in assisting the (hot) Suncadia chef in preparing an Italian feast.  He later clued us in to the fact that he had already pre-made our entire meal, and that often times, the food these groups prepare gets eaten by the staff ;)  Probably a good idea.



4 of our Project Managers

 

Me, Shauntel, and the chef

 

 

 

Linda, me, Shauntel and John (our Prez)

 

 

The entire IW team enjoying our meal.

 

The next day was a full day of meetings.  THIS was the view outside our conference room.  Luckily, we had several break out sessions that required small group work - so we got to hit the patio for those.

 

On Tuesday evening, we had dinner and drinks out on the lawn at sunset, followed by S'Mores around the campfire.

 

 

 

 

At the end of the night, Patric treated us to some piano tunes.  At all of our conferences (really, whenever he can get his hands on a piano) he will play for us - all improv, always impressive.

 

To answer your questions:

 

Yes - we got a lot of work done.

 

Yes - we enjoyed our fair share of wine.

 

And yes - I enjoyed the shit out of that giant soaking tub :)

Heart Breaker

 

Some days, it's incredibly difficult to leave Ben.  Like, almost impossible. 

2012! New Year, New Schedule

First post of the year!  I am so happy that I chose to start a blog last year, as this has served as a personal journal AND baby book all at once!  My fellow blogger- friend, Maureen, told me about a website called Blog2Print, where you can print out a hard copy of your blog - and my first book, 2011, is on its way to me now.

Yesterday was my first official day as a working mom, and my first day working at the office and away from Ben.  I would be lying if I said this was easy.  I cried when I put Ben down in his crib on Sunday night, knowing that I would not have much interaction (other than feeding him) until after work the following day.  (Little did I know that Ben would choose that night of ALL nights to wake up 3 times). 

So on Monday morning, I drove my very tired self to work (stopping at Starbucks and participating on a conference call along the way).  I was the first to arrive at the office.  As I sat there at my desk, changing my voice mail greeting, removing my "Out of Office Assistant", and hanging my "Ben" calendar, I have to say I felt okay! 

The day really did fly by.  I had 2 meetings, I pumped in my office (so awkward), I got a bunch of paperwork done, and made a massive to-do list!  I got a few picture messages (and all kinds of text messages) from Greg, updating me on the day at home.  Ben did a great job taking his bottle!  I coordinated my lunch time around Ben's feeding schedule, AND Greg brought Ben in for his afternoon meal :) 

I received all kinds of supportive text messages, emails, and Facebook posts - and Rachel brought me brownies and a card!  This type of outreach is what makes the hard times manageable. 

And today was a work from home day!  I was able to get up an hour before Ben this morning (who, by the way, was nice and let his mom SLEEP last night) and got some work done!  I also was able to work a ton today during his naps and while he was otherwise occupied, and spent some good quality time with him reading books and snuggling when he was up and alert.

What's next on our to-do list, mom?

Here is Ben in his Jumper/Activity Station that Hil and John bought for him.  He is still not at the required age (4 months) and is definitely not quite tall enough....but while supervised, he seems to be SUPER into it!  So cute.  So focused.

Old Jessica vs. New Jessica

Since having Ben, I've been a little...obsessed with my new life as his mom.  Maybe "obsessed" isn't the right word, but definitely "focused", on him and only him.  I think that being pregnant forces most women into a little bit of an identity crisis.  We go from being ourselves, to being this constantly changing, edited version of ourselves.  We go from taking care of and worrying about just US, to having to be mindful of every food we consume, every physical action we take...all while our physical appearance is changing and hormones are raging.

And then you have your baby, and it's as if nothing else matters.  Except it does!  Your relationship, your friendships, your job, staying healthy, your appearance, your hobbies - they all still matter!  It's just hard to remember to devote the time to all of those things in the way you used to!

I find myself getting distracted from things a lot easier than I used to.  I used to have a lot of things on my plate, and for the past three months it has been all about Ben!  What a nice break from it all it has been, but soon (as in now) I need to get back into the practice of doing other things.

I have unfortunately worked more during my maternity leave than I ever intended to, and while it has been nice financially (and perhaps good practice for when I'm back and working from home), I have also resented the fact that I've spent so much time doing it.  This week I had an in-person meeting that I attended, and while leaving Ben was difficult, I have to admit that it was REALLY good for me. 

Ben stayed at home with my mom.  I was able to get dressed, leave the house with my purse instead of my diaper bag, listen to music loudly in the car, and then sit in a room with my coworkers and focus on our plan for 2012.  It was nice.  I of course missed my little guy, but it was nice to spend a few hours as the old Jessica, accomplishing things at work, and then be able to return to him.

I had lost all sense of who I am (which is easy to do when you are spending so much time with your baby!) but I was happy to have that small piece of me back.

I am going to try to remember to get out more.  I'm taking Rachel's offer to watch Ben next week so I can go to a yoga class.  I'm going to try to utilize Greg's offers more often on the weekends to go out and do stuff (once in awhile!).  And I can happily say now, returning to work in the office 3 days a week is not going to be the WORST thing in the world. 

Total. Daycare. Meltdown.

Yesterday, I thought it was a good idea for Ben and I to pay a visit to his daycare center - the one I set up for him over the summer while I was still pregnant.  At the time, I had put a deposit down to reserve his Wednesday/Friday spot, but was told that after he was born, I should bring in all of his paperwork and registration stuff to get him all ready for his first day.
I should preface this post by saying that as I get closer and closer to the end of my maternity leave, the overwhelming feeling of DREAD has consumed me at times.  It's not that I am not looking forward to being back at my job - because I am.  I will be starting the year off with a big, new, (important) program that I will be managing and I am eager to prove to my company (and to myself) that I can ROCK the working-mom thing.  The problem is, I just CANNOT imagine being away from Ben.  To not be the one to hold him when he cries, or feed him when he is hungry, etc.  I am sure he will be too young to notice that I have left (at least I hope), so the separation anxiety is mostly going to be my problem and not his, but in general it sucks.  I have been feeling lately that it is just completely UNFAIR that the standard maternity leave in the United States is just SO SHORT.  (Shout out to Shauna, who is going back to work on MONDAY).

So back to our daycare visit.  The teachers there were great, loving, sweet with the babies, and completely adequate in terms of caring for the little ones there.  They answered all of my questions well and completely understood how hard of a time I was having with it all.  I had a bit of a hard time when two of the babies (around 4 months old) both started crying at the same time, and only ONE of them could be picked up.  I mean, hello - I'm sure that is the case in families with multiple children, and other daycare facilities, etc. - but as I sat there looking at the little boy (who was wearing an outfit that Ben also has, with a cry that sounded almost identical to Ben's hungry cry), I had to hold it together before I burst into tears right then and there.

I quickly put my sunglasses on, thanked them for their time, and told them we would see them in January....but the second I said that out loud, I knew that I was going to do everything I could to ensure that we would NOT be back.
I called Greg, my mom, and a few of my friends in total-meltdown mode.  I emailed with friends, sobbed on my couch, and then started to brainstorm ways I could find a different situation for Ben.  Obviously, I know that the daycare would have been FINE.  (The logical part of my brain KNOWS this).  But the emotional attachment I have for this kid.....ugh.  So overwhelming.  I knew that if I HAD to be away from him, I really wanted to feel super comfortable with where he would be, and who he would be with.

Within an hour, I had lined up my mom to watch him my entire first week back (Tuesdays and Thursdays I will still get to work from home - THANK GOODNESS).  Greg's mom agreed to spend the rest of January with us and watch Benny when I'm at the office - THANKS, MARCIA!

And then my friend Callie called.  I swear, I was not even planning this as I told her my sob story from the morning.  As I talked, she listened - and completely understood my fears/sadness about leaving him.  And after I was done, she asked me if SHE could watch him instead!  It was as if all (okay, most) of my fears about being away from Ben vanished.  Callie LOVES me, and she LOVES Ben, and she is right up there with the best of them as far as moms (and friends) go.  When the time comes, I really do feel deep down that Ben will be in great hands!  Ever since our conversation, I keep thinking about how great of friends Ben will be with her girls (Ben was born on Maylee's 2nd birthday, and 2 days after Mira's 4th birthday).  I keep laughing as I know he will likely be dressed up as a Disney princess by them a time or two :)  It makes me feel good to know that she is just a text message away, and that I can call and obsess over him and what they are doing as often as I want without worrying that I'm being a little crazy. But most importantly, (at least for me), I love knowing that when he cries, he will be held and snuggled by someone who I have known forever, and who truly loves him.

(I want to be sure that I don't come across as if I have an issue with "daycare".  I really don't.  I am certain that Ben would have thrived had I made the choice to send him there, but there just was something about it all that didn't feel right for us). 

So yes, it still sucks big time that I cannot be in two places at once.  I suppose that I'm about to really understand what a challenge the whole work/life balance can be.  At least for now, the massive pit in my stomach that reached a level that I cannot handle yesterday, is gradually disappearing.