34 Months Old

34 months.  2 years and 10 months.  2 5/6 years old.

I remember when Ben was not even 1 yet, I would think back to the prior year and reminisce about how "last summer, I was X months pregnant", or "this time last [fill in the blank holiday], I was only X months pregnant", etc.

Now when I do that, it was 3 years ago - and it kind of freaks me out!  It's now been soooooooo long since I was pregnant with him, and almost 2 years since I last nursed him - but it continues to feel like both of these were very recent events.  I suppose this is the exact reason why time flies so quickly once you become a parent.

If I talk obsess with you on a regular basis, then you already know about how back and forth we have been about whether or not to have another baby.  I'm not sure about how other people feel when making this decision, but for me, a huge part of it is the inability to come to terms that Ben is no longer a baby himself!  This, in addition to our original plan of only having 1 kid, (plus finances, lifestyle, visions for the future) has us leaning heavily this way these days - however, I will admit - watching so many people around us having (or soon to be having) their second child and witnessing that whole adorable family of four thing has had me wavering a bit from time to time.  

The good news is that I loved being an only child, and have TRULY treated each of Ben's milestones with the thought that this would be the last time I experienced each of them.  (Which could explain why I have not been in much of a rush to move him into the next stage along the way).

But whether I am pushing him or not, he is doing it all on his own:

Ben now speaks in full sentences that I would say are understood by others about 80% of the time.  In fact, we had our "exit testing" in speech therapy last week, and our little dude essentially aced (as in, was perfectly on track with his peers) each area of testing.  In fact, the area he tested highest in?  COMMUNICATION.  (!?!?!) 

It has cracked us up to hear him tell us exactly what he is thinking:

In the morning when he wakes up, I hear him over the monitor:  Mama, I'm all done going night night.  Mama, I want milk, mama.  I want mama/dada's bed.  Mama, I want lunch.  Go to the park!  Run, jump, play, dance.  I want my trucks.  THOMAS!

When he is playing with his cars: Drive cars, mama.  Crash!!!  Time to wash the cars.  (He carries them to the bathroom).  Wash in sink.  Car wash - I cry.  (He remembers - quite vividly - how much he hated the car wash last time we went, which was months ago).

I've also caught him saying "One second!!" lately, which clearly is what I must be saying to him about a hundred times a day!

Loves: Trucks, trains, trips to Costco, tickles, jumping on the bed/couch/ground, being chased, hide and seek, taking all of the pillows off the couch and making a big pile to jump in/on, helping me take the garbage out, playing in the sink, going to the park with Greg, Monsters (movie), Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (movie), music: the "Happy" Song, Scream and Shout (Britney), "Boom Boom Song" (Black Eyed Peas), pointing out every letter, number and color we see, alerting me to each motorcycle he hears/truck he sees, watching videos on YouTube (which he pronounces "Videots", going on walks around the neighborhood, picking out his clothes ("Ben gets to pick!!!"), singing "Twinkle Twinkle", Mira and Maylee (and Callie, too!), Fridays with Grandma, Grandma's iPad, the "blankie Grandma make" (the closest thing he has to a "lovie"), kisses and hugs.

Sleep lately has been good most of the time.  It has become clear that the whole "you will eat what I make for dinner" plan I was aiming for is not working well to our benefit when it comes to sleep.  If he doesn't have a big meal or a hearty snack at night, he will often wake up at 4 am asking for milk or "lunch".  We are working on it.  I would say that 5 out of 7 nights a week, he goes down to sleep happily and we don't hear from him until the morning - but those other 2 nights can result in him needing to come back into our bed to snuggle until he is almost asleep (and sometimes letting him sleep with us for a few hours), or will require us to get him a snack or some milk.  He also still naps an average of 2.5 hours a day (sometimes longer!) so perhaps that needs to be shortened to help him go down at night better....

....but I'm certain all of this will change because his BIG BOY BED arrives on Tuesday.  Hell shall break loose.  Stay tuned.

Ben is wearing 3T clothing for the most part (plus a few favorite 2T pants and T shirts that I try to squeeze him into and some 4T jammies that we got handed down from Laryd).  I got him some size 8 tennis shoes and sandals a few months back that should last him awhile.

As far as potty training goes, we are not rushing it at all.  We read books and watch videos about the potty and allow him to decide when he wants to try it (which is usually only before bed and is used as a tactic to stay up later) ;)  He has pooped on the potty exactly twice.  I bought him some pull ups for when we are around the house, but he FREAKED out when I put them on them and requested a diaper immediately.  A selfish part of me really hopes that we can wait until AFTER our trip to Mexico for him to be fully out of diapers, because it's going to really suck to have to put down our margaritas and rush him to the bathroom every 10 minutes - but it's all up to him! ;)

I would say the biggest thing I have realized over the past few months of parenting is how much I need to let go of my own selfish desires to have a child who always listens to what I say, cleans up after himself constantly and is always quiet when I want him to be.  :)  We are raising a little PERSON, who has his own feelings, thoughts, ideas of what he wants to do, and different ways to learn.  I am starting to understand more and more that my job as his mom is more about keeping him safe, letting him explore, letting him be loud/emotional/willful, and guiding him with good morals and boundaries.  

A few weeks ago at the beach, Ben was running around and I noticed myself trying to keep him away from a water fountain (that was getting him wet) and coaxing him to walk the direction I wanted, and to hold my hand (when it really wasn't necessary).  I'm sure with my words I was telling him to "listen to mama", to the point where when he nearly ran out into the parking lot away from me and I yelled at him to STOP!!!, it probably didn't sound drastically different from the way I had been acting all morning.  I truly want him to know the difference when something could be dangerous, so I'm making an effort to not coach him through all of the other moments just because it might make my life easier.

Anyway, being a mom is the best thing I've ever done and while the growing pains can be a challenge, I'm more than up for it.  Anything to give Ben the best little life I can :)